Incomplete Rantings

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Thud. A dull muffled blow.
That was the last I heard of her.
She was gone. all in a second. She was dead.

Funny. When you think about what all could happen in less than a fraction of a second.
22 years of blossoming dreams
22 years of
===

Wonder why I left the previous piece incomplete – just like all the other attempts. Today is one day for reflection. About how I am handling my work. My life and everything else I hold dear to me. There is chaos. There is that tenency to move towards chaos – what do they call that? Entropy? The movement towards chaos. What attracts me towards it – like moths to a lightbulb.

Coming back to the piece – I started it off with the intention that it would develop into a masterpiece. And it fizzled out almost instantly. I blamed myself for starting out with the intention of making a masterpiece.
“It does not happen like that Preethi Paul!”
The words of a friend. While she spoke, I was gritting my teeth. But 24 hours later, I realised she was talking complete sense.

Funny – how some people are so clear about their lives. And how they want it to be – But funny – how the very same people are clueless and panicky about certain aspects of their lives! And that uncertainity – spells DOOM.

I dont know what I am writing out here. CHAOS, I guess. Something like a testimony of how chaotic I am. I better stop for now. I am not doing a great job at work, today. I am supposed to write happy stuff. And I cant get myself to pretend.

Because writing is sacred for me.

As for the incomplete piece…. I guess I might begin working on it sometime… in some weeks… months… years? As long as chaos rules, rest assured I will
survive.

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2 Comments

Filed under Musings

2 responses to “Incomplete Rantings

  1. well some pieces are better left uncomplete :)anyways what you wrote has meaning, lets one think of the life s/he has lived, like those 22 years are for you..

  2. true.. I was trying to write about my death. And somehow, I imagined that I would die when I am 22 Clearly, that did not happen. :)

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