I rushed to “My Spot”. My ‘thinking bench’. I have been itching to write since afternoon. But constraints always mar your way.
This piece is just a couple of thoughts. PURELY – a string of real ODD THOTS strung together. Just for thoughts sake, mind you.
Everything has a catalyst. This includes what happened today. a couple of people sparked it off. One is my colleague and college pal. The other person is my ‘bestest’ -( if I am permitted to break the rules of the English language )- friend. Some conversations with them was all that was needed to set me thinking. Thoughts just flutter about – like butterflies. Today, it settled down on a thought. About people.
I tried to look around and ‘see’ the people. I could see two types of them. I call them the Wanderers and the Settlers.
I am clearly a Settler. I wouldn’t have a problem with a monotonous and sedantary job. A Wanderer would feel asphyxiated. I would have one too many Saturday afternoons just idling away time, listening to endless music and cooking, or reading a book. A Wanderer is weary because he doesn’t know what “freetime” is.
Wanderer. Bound by his own harsh rules. He is too much under pressure to reach upto his own very highly set standards. A warrior. A restless soul. Going places. Always. They know they have to go. That they can’t stay. He is very much aware of himself and his power. So much so that he fears himself; his mind.
A Settler forgets to use the wings he is given. He looks at the Wanderer with pure admiration and awe. He admires the Wanderer for the courage he takes to use these wings. Despair sets in. The Settler is aware of his limitations.
But a Settler is generally happy. He doesn’t see as much as the Wanderer sees, when he looks around. Hence, he has lesser problems to worry about. He would be able to use the gift of humour and make life easier for the Wanderer.
Wanderers. They shut away their thoughts for fear of hurting others. They often conflict thier own thoughts. An everlasting battle goes on in their intense and powerful minds. They live in the surety that there is only one of their kind.
( I beg to differ at this point. They are actually quite a few in number. It is just that they seem to be so unitary in nature, they would give the impression of being alone.)
I cannot classify all the people I know, into just Settlers and Wanderers. There would be another class as well. Only, I don’t know who they are, as of now. Are they lost? Are they sure of themselves? Are they happy? Are they sad? I have no clue.
I’d like to dwell on the thoughts about the Wanderer. They are strong in heart and mind. Dragon hearts. Made of Fire. They carry themselves as though they were born to rule and nothing less! Royal and magnificient beings! But they move on. Always. Without fail.
( The Settler realises this often with pain. He falls irrevocably into intense passion, constantly. The Settler has not mastered the skill of letting go.)
The Settler would never fly. He is simply not meant to. Instead, he is firmly footed on hard Earth. He enjoys solitude, but only in limited amounts. Staying solo for long would kill him off – maybe not in the literal sense – but aren’t all these thoughts abstract?
I paused to wonder. What made me, a pure Settler, think in this manner?
I became aware of my surroundings. I am sitting on a park bench. The Sun has sunk in the west, long back. I am being feasted upon by mosquitos. But I came here to write. Call me superstitious if you want. But I felt if I sat HERE, I could write.
My friend has shared a lot with me, sitting here. I just sat here, a little numb, listening to the person speak. I knew I was with a Wanderer. One that soars high. I sat here thinking that soon we would part ways, simply because a Wanderer has to go. Realisation dawned on me. Hard. I was made aware that my path is different. I am a Settler.
Hard luck? As always.
This entry was made on 29th April 2003. 1840-1915 hrs.
* I have more Wanderers for company! The college pal is one. So is the best budd. If my entries seem shockingly similar to the way they speak, I cant really help that! These people do affect the way I think, in a big way. I am still learning new lessons. The course isn’t over. Not as yet.